Movie Review: Dune

It should have been called “doomed” or “Done”. One of the worst movies ever made. Let us count the ways:

1. Zero character development. You end the first movie after two and a half hours not knowing anything about the main characters, their motives, or any sense of why you should care about them. The damned ornithopters had more screen time than the main character.

2. Casting. Deeply pathetic. It’s like a movie made as a jr college summer project where only the producers friends could be in it. There is nothing about any of the characters that is in any way related to the story. Once again: wokism trumps everything in Hollywood. All the characters had to be non-white.

Let’s make the main charachter a simpering curly haired soyboy who looks like he has never been inside a gym, instead of the character the AUTHOR created who spent most of his days training since early childhood.

Let’s cast a girl who is “alternatively pretty” instead of one who is either actually pretty or one who have the tough characteristcs on her face of tough dessert living.

Let’s cast an old black woman as the planetologist, who is also supposed to be the FATHER of the “alternatively pretty” dessert girl but who genetically is painfully obviously not related by blood ties.

Let’s hire two big names from the a-list “Aquaman” and the guy from Guardians of the Galaxy, and give them each about 6 lines COMBINED. Then kill off Aquaman.

Let’s only use white people as villains.

3. Technology. In the last 2 attempts, the ornithopter was just background tech. In this version, the ornithopter is the star. It almost has more speaking parts than the lead. And it it painfully stupid. It is obviously mimicing a dragonfly, but the book didn’t call for a “bug-copter”. ORNITHOPTER, with ORNI, for “bird”. It should have been birdlike in form or function. If the stupid CGI department couldn’t get that right and just had to show off their awesome skilz, they should have just renamed it. But no. Despite all the other plot devices that got buried or twisted, the characters clearly called this an ornithopter.

A really, really bad movie. Even people who love the story are going to have a hard time following it. And they won’t go back for part 2. I doubt part 2 will even be made. This will be another Last Air Bender “trilogy”.

About No One

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6 Responses to Movie Review: Dune

  1. Heresolong says:

    Too bad. After Kyle McLaughlin and Sting I was hoping for more. I even re-read the first three books.

    Is there really a character who lives on dessert and is therefore referred to as the “dessert girl”? Is she really fat? LOL. Sorry, couldn’t resist.


    • No One says:

      Alternatively pretty refers to ethnic, maybe indian or other south asian, but not fat , and not having any attributes that western culture would consider pretty. In fact, “paul” is prettier than she is.


  2. Heresolong says:

    PS White people are the villains because there only are white people. Or possibly, in the books that Herbert wrote black people are the villains because there only are black people. Trying to remember, I re-read them recently, and couldn’t tell you what race anyone is because Herbert never mentions it. But of course Hollywood has to have diversity (fine, don’t really care) and can’t make any rainbow people the bad guys because that would lead to protests.


    • No One says:

      Herbert had a lot to say about cultural subgroups, but not about race. But im pretty sure hou could follow the breadcrumbs enough that a society of dessert nomads, cut off from other societies for several thousand years, would produce tribes of racially homogeneous features. There would be no blacks in a tribe of mostly ballywood indians.


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