America has a problem. Some immigrants are here without our permission. When we find them and deport them, they come back.
Some of them are criminals. Aside from breaking our entry laws, they commit other crimes too. And their penalty is sometimes jail, and sometimes deportation, which is a free pass to come back as if nothing has happened. The alternative is that they get to stay in the USA, in our prisons, at our expense. This isn’t a very good situation.
Since I am literally Hitler*, a Nazi** and a racist***, it falls to me to suggest a more sensible approach.
- Immigrants who are found illegally inside the USA and have committed no other crimes get deported on their first offense. As part of processing, they get a full biometric scan, making identifying them easier later. Part of their penalty is a ten year ban from getting a legal visa. There are no immigration judges or asylum determinations. The place for that is when filling out the forms for a LEGAL entry Visa.
- For a second offense, the offender gets beaten with a stick. A hard painful beating that does no permanent damage. All their goods are seized. Tattoo on their forehead their proper national identity so they can see it whenever they look in the mirror. Deported again with a lifetime ban on ever being legally allowed back in the USA.
- For third offense: Death.
- There are no fourth offenses.
- For immigrants who commit other crimes while here, they get the full penalty of local law enforcement including prison if appropriate, then everything in step 2. If they kill an American citizen negligently, by drunk driving, or by murder, they get the Lash, then the death penalty. No re-offenders. No long jail times awaiting appeals. Appeals will be heard by a State Supreme court. If that court overturns the conviction or penalty, then that state becomes responsible for the care and feeding of the criminal forever, even if he later moves to another state. And the sate become liable for all victim restitution for past and future crimes.
The benefits of this are pretty obvious. The penalties are obviously draconian and thus any sane person would take reasonable steps to avoid them. The most likely step would be self-deportation. Then those who wish to return, would apply through the legal VISA process. The problem with our existing system is that there are no penalties. Thus, it is a game of cat and mouse where the mouse never gets eaten by the cat. Harsh punishment is needed. The Wall is important, but harsh punishment is what will keep foreigners on their own side.
* “Literally Hitler” means I am not Hitler. My name isn’t Hitler. I’m not Austrian. I didn’t serve in WW1. I do not have a final solution for the Juden. And I do not have a gay little mustache.
** Nazi = Voted for Trump. Not a member of the Nationalist Socialist party or any similar party that espouses Fascism as it was practiced in Germany or Italy in the 1930’s and early 1940’s.
*** Racist = White guy. What I believe or don’t believe is irrelevant. Just being lighter skinned than a mixed race person makes me defacto racist.
Well that escalated quickly.
Nice use of meme. But 200 years is not a very fast escalation.