Your Horoscope

You will find yourself reading a blog about horoscopes in the most unlikely of places.  Take special care.  If you don’t watch where you walk, you might stumble.

I have been curious about the manufacturing of newspaper horoscopes for a while.  Every newspaper has them. They all seem unique.  And they are all generating more unique ones every day.  That’s a lot of work for even a very creative writer, and let’s face it, when you are limited to two sentences, how creative can you be?

I had mostly assumed that modern newspapers have large programs that generate random horoscopy-like gibberish and feed them directly into the exact formats that fit the space allocated.  And no, I don’t mean programs that actually calculate the rotation of planets and their relationship to birth months.  I mean a random text generator.

So I do some research today to try to fine out what newspapers do.  The information on this is pretty closely guarded.  most of them discuss the finer points of interpreting the calculations and making good predictions.  I found this page with some background. I found this particular part cringe-worthy.

How to tell if a horoscope is genuine

… But at least you can avoid horoscopes that are written by charlatans.

I don’t know how they can write that with a straight face.

I am pretty sure the US government, and every state government has law enforcement agencies that specialize in fraud and consumer protection.  Why are any of these things allowed to exist?  Why aren’t public schools and churches teaching children that horoscopes are total non-sense?  What is the point of public education if they leave out the very basic information that every child should know?




About No One

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2 Responses to Your Horoscope

  1. doomdigit says:

    “What is the point of public education if they leave out the very basic information that every child should know?”

    Tradition, damnit!


  2. Ame says:

    i am always shocked at the people who read those things … of course, they always seem to add, “It’s just for fun,” but they they refer back to it during the day. ugh.


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