Basic Math and Relationships

This pretty much works for all relationships where attraction is a factor.


A = set of all people attracted to me.

B = Set of all people I am attracted to.

Area between is the set of all possible combinations of “relationships”.  Obviously, attraction isn’t everything, but without attraction as a minimum, you don’t get to even look at the rest.

When you are young, healthy and fit, A and B have very large intersections and almost all known people are possible matches.  As you get older, the circles get farther apart.  Other factors also cause the circles to get further apart.  Gaining weight.  Getting tattoos.  Picking up bad criminal habits.  Physical deformities.  Becoming noticably crazy.

There is always some intersection.  It is never zero.  Thus, even a fat dwarf with facial boils, herpes and in a coma will have at least one person who “wants that”.   But as a general rule, when the set of all possible matches gets that small, it becomes a mathematical certainty that the two people will not find each other.

And there we see the heartbreak of the modern dating marketplace.  It is made up of a whole lot of people who have a very small set of possible matches.  Divorce culture is creating a dating pool full of unsuitable men and women with very small intersections.  They are older, have fewer resources, and have more unattractive baggage than they did when they were younger.

The good news is, at the same time, there are plenty of people who never whine about not being able to find a date, or not finding a good man, or not finding a man or woman who is everything they ever wanted and they can’t wait to make babies together.  Those people who have very large overlaps have no trouble finding a suitable match from the many they have to choose from.  They have several good choices, all of which will work out just fine.

There are several things though you can do to make your intersection set larger:

1.  Be more attractive. (make up, weight loss, hair styles, wardrobe selection, hygiene)

2.  Accept more from the group of “people I am not attracted to”.

Demanding that other people accept you for the the beauty inside does nothing to increase your set of possible matches.  If anything, it diminishes it since it advertizes to all potential matches that you have an unpleasant personality as well as an unattractive exterior. In the mean time, get used to living alone.   Make the best of what you have.




About No One

I am totally non-threatening
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One Response to Basic Math and Relationships

  1. Old NFO says:

    That’s the best advice one can get… The sad part is most people WON’T accept that making the best of what they have is the only answer as we age…


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